Confession
by rineren
Summary: Chris was going to miss being his catcher.


**Diamond no Ace**

_Aside from shipping misawa like a madman, I also like Eijun paired up Chris. Well, to be honest, I can see Eijun being paired up with anyone. So yeah, thanks for checking out my story and feel free to pm prompts. I usually don't know what to write 99% of the time._

_Disclaimer: DNA does not belong to me. (we're still suppose to do this, right?)_

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**Confession**

Chris smiled as he heard the names of the people that had made to the first string. He knew that his chances of getting in were very unlikely, but a part of him had still thought he had a shot for one of the last two spots. Either way, he decided he wasn't going to fret about it.

He wasn't going to deny he was a bit disappointed at the thought that he wasn't going to be playing for Seidou anymore, but he knew the coach had done the right thing in choosing Sawamura and Kominato's younger brother.

Without saying another word, Chris slowly turned around and left the crowd. Half of them were yelling with frustration that they would have to wait another year to get a second chance for the first string while the other half happily congratulated the new members. He, on the other hand, didn't feel the obligation to congratulate anybody. He had done his job and he would continue being the team's manager, a duty he didn't mind having at all.

Even though he wanted to walk away, Chris couldn't help but look back at Sawamura and surprising enough, he didn't look happy in the least. In fact, Chris could almost swear he had tears in his eyes. That's when Chris' small smile disappeared from him face.

He was definitely going to miss being his catcher.

Eijun Sawamura was different from any other pitcher he had ever caught for and it wasn't just because of unique pitching style. He was enthusiastic and energetic at all times. He was always eager to learn and he never gave up. He was determined and yet, he always considered his teammates before himself. He looked up to him even though they both got off on the wrong foot.

He had a joyous smile that could probably melt the hardest and coldest of barriers. He had a laugh that could be heard and distinguished in a crowd of many. His pitches were nasty and yet, he had a soft and gentle touch.

Was it any wonder that he ended up growing feelings for him? Was it really that strange that he ended up falling for his wonderful cheery nature? Was it normal that he wanted to be with him? Was it okay to feel sad because he wasn't going to catch for him anymore?

Then again, did it even matter? Sawamura probably didn't see him the way he did. He probably never thought of him as something more than his upperclassman and catcher. With that thought in mind, Chris walked away, ignoring the strange and sudden throb that was forming in chest. He could congratulate him, but he knew that would probably only make him feel worse. Sawamura deserved to be in the first string and Chris knew that if he went up to felicitate him, he would only do it half heartedly.

These were the times when he wished that he hadn't injured his shoulder. These were the times when he wished that he was a hundred percent healthy. He wanted to keep playing baseball for Seidou, but in that moment, he wanted nothing more than to keep being Sawamura's catcher. He wanted to guide him and teach him like the way he had been. He wanted to be there for him and bring out his full potential. There were so many expectations for him and he wanted to witness them all.

Miyuki was a great catcher and he knew that he and Sawamura would form a great partnership. He could almost see them in future games. He could see them dominating the field and astounding each batter that went up at the plate.

It would indeed be interesting to watch, but was it okay for him to feel a little envious? Was it normal for him to desire Miyuki's place? While Sawamura pitched to his heart's content, the only thing he would be able to do was watch from the dugout and support him from afar.

Then again, why did he have to fall for him in the first place?

It was sunny outside, but the air didn't feel as humid and suffocating as he had expected. It had been a few days since the coach had announced the names for the first string and he hadn't seen Sawamura since. It was true that Sawamura was busy practicing with Miyuki, but he was also going out of his way to avoid him. He didn't want to see him because he knew his feelings would turn him in.

So, Chris walked passed by the bullpen without bothering to even look inside. He could hear Miyuki's voice lecturing Sawamura probably for the millionth time, something that he was quite familiar with. However, he didn't stay long enough to pick up their conversation. He was too busy to stick around to chat anyways, and he wasn't the mood to deal with his unbearable desires.

"Chris-senpai!"

He stopped walking as that voice called him, a voice that he would even hear in his dreams sometimes. Chris turned around to find the person he had been thinking about for the past month or so running in his direction. Sawamura panted, his sweat trickling down the side of face to his neck as he stood in front of him. Chris remained indifferent, but on the inside, he could feel butterflies fluttering around.

"Sawamura." Chris stared at the boy while he wondered of the million things he could possibly say.

Even so, for some strange reason, he was blushing. Sawamura had painted across his face a bright red blush and Chris couldn't help but find him adorable. Shifting uncomfortably, Sawamura looked around before his eyes finally focused on him He seemed nervous, probably even more nervous than him.

"I haven't seen you in a while, but I wanted to thank you!" He suddenly blurted out, surprising him for the slightest second. Then, he lightly bowed before him, his body becoming almost stiff. "I wouldn't have made it in the first string if it wasn't because of you! I learned many things and I can't thank you enough! I hope to get your advice in the future as well! So, uhhh, thank you, Chris-senpai! Thanks for everything!"

Chris was glad that Sawamura respected him and considered him important when it came to baseball matters, but it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to make him truly happy. Still, Chris managed to pull out a small smile. "You worked hard. You deserve it."

"But," He lifted his head, allowing him to see his flustered face and teary eyes. He seemed troubled, but then again, by that point, that wasn't anything unusual. "I wanted you to join the first string too! You're a great catcher and I wanted you too keep catching for me! I know there were only two spots left, but still! I wanted you to join the first string too!"

"You will do well with Miyuki." Chris reassured him, but the throb inside his chest was back. If he stayed there any longer, he knew he would lose his composure and surrender to the boy that stood before him. "He's in the position he's in for a reason. Trust him and pitch."

"I know that!" Sawamura continued, but his teary eyes had already dried themselves while his eyebrows furrowed with what looked like embarrassment. "I know Miyuki is good, but you're good too! Chris-senpai, you're a great catcher and you deserve to be in the first string too! I took your spot, though. You could tell that all the third years wanted to coach to pick you. They were disappointed when my name was called. They all wanted you. I wanted you too."

He clearly had no idea what he was saying and that's what frustrated Chris the most. Eijun had no idea what he was making him feel in that moment. He had no idea how strong the urge to kiss and embrace him were. He had no idea that his feelings for him were more than just a mere crush of a high schooler. He loved him and he knew he would carry him in his thoughts for many years to come.

"I told you already, didn't I?" Chris told him with a serious and stern look on his face. Would he understand if he told him or would he be disgusted? Would he still accept him or would he back away from him completely? Those were the insecurities Chris carried and the insecurities that were pulling him back from saying anything at all. "You deserve to be in the first string."

Chris paused as he watched Sawamura sadly lower his head, avoiding to make eye contact with him. Despite his disappointment, Chris went on with his explanation.

"I'm a third year that's about graduate, Sawamura and even though you say I'm good, that doesn't change the fact that I have an injured shoulder. Time has healed it, but we both know that it isn't enough. I'll continue on being the manager and I'll be watching you from the sidelines. You're not alone in this. You have Miyuki, your teammates, the coach, and everyone else that's also supporting you. No one is upset about the coach's decision because we all know what you're capable of doing. I'm not able to carry Seidou to the nationals, but everyone on this team knows that you do have that capability."

"I know, but I'm scared!" He almost yelled, making his eyes widen a bit. "I'm scared that I'll never be able to form another battery with you!"

Silence gloomed over them for the next seconds to come and Chris could only stare at the boy in front of him. However, Sawamura's words kept echoing throughout his mind while they teared and ripped away his heart. Little did he know that he was also scared, no terrified, of that precise thing.

Looking up at him, Sawamura waited for his reaction, but Chris knew that he wouldn't be able to summarize his feelings into words. It was an impossible task by that point.

Without giving him a warning, Chris suddenly pulled Sawamura toward him and while he embraced him, he slowly buried his face in his soft brown hair. He gave him a small peck in the head and that was enough to almost make his heart jump out. His scent quickly fell over him, drowning him a certain yearning he had tried so hard to keep hidden. It was clear that he wanted him. He wanted him more than anything in the world.

"Chris-senpai!" His voice sounded surprised, but it wasn't in panic like the way he had expected it to be. He was trembling, but he wasn't resisting and he wasn't backing away from his touch. Chris' lips slowly curved into a smile as he dropped the papers in his hand to hold the boy in his arms more firmly. What he had avoided for the last couple of days was happening.

"What are you doing?!" He exclaimed as his face was pressed against his chest. However, his voice suddenly fell silent and Chris wondered if he had finally heard his insanely pounding heart. "Chris-senpai? Are you okay?"

"I'm not." Chris told him, closing his eyes, in something that was lower than a whisper. "I never have been and if you're not with me, I never will be."

"What?"

Chris didn't bother to explain since he was never really good with words to begin with, but his hands did cup Eijun's face tenderly. He looked straight into his eyes, looking past his embarrassed face, and slowly leaned down to kiss him. Surprisingly enough, Eijun didn't push him away and when their lips came into contact, their hands had already interlocked with one another's.

It was short and quick since Chris was quite aware of his surroundings, but that didn't change Eijun's blushing and flustered face. He squeezed his hand, lowering his head to the point where he couldn't see it anymore.

"Chris-senpai…"


End file.
